Six tips for a healthy relationship

-Pragya Shrestha

Trust, loyalty and honesty are the ground for every healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are extremely important for emotional support, mental well-being and happiness. However, sometimes problems could arise in a relationship. It is necessary to understand that the problem creates trouble in a relationship, not the individuals.

In Nepal, the trend of breakup and divorce among couples are on the rise. This is because couples have started to take their relationship as a trend rather than understanding its true meaning. Relationships are not easy and you need to work on them to ensure that you enjoy a healthy relationship.

Here are 6 tips for you on how to make your relationship healthy:

1. Positive side: The couple need to see positive sides of each other rather than seeing and complaining about the negative side. The positive side could be behavior that you may have neglected such as making tea when you’re tired, being present with you for minutes to hours, calling you when you are angry, etc.
2. Acknowledgement: Every human being needs acknowledgment, this is true for your partner as well. You must be genuine while acknowledging each other. Acknowledge your partner when s/he does little things for you, for example: making tea. Saying “Thank you” to family and friends are not part of our culture, but it is very necessary to build a healthy relationship.
3. Do not blame: Blaming people is like attacking with words against which people try to defend immediately. Avoid using words like “Always” and “Never”. For example, “You never listen to me” or “You always fight with me”. Instead, use “I” statements such as “I feel sad when you do not listen to me”, “I fear that our relationship will go bad, which I do not want.”
4. Express: Do not think that the other person can read your thoughts and feelings. You need to express openly when you have any problems.
5. Don’t compare: Comparing your spouse with other’s spouse is also one of the main reasons in relationship problems. Every person is unique. The personality of other’s spouse is different than the personality of your spouse. So, stop comparing!
6. Quality time: Taking out at least 20 minutes from your 24 hours day to spend quality time is important. Sharing, rather tha telling is a good strategy for spending quality time. Sharing is both ways while telling is one way. So, you can share about your days, your thoughts and your feelings. You do not need to require a long term vacation in expensive places for quality time. But if you have plans, do so!

If you still have relationship problems, seek for a counselor or therapist who works in relationship counseling.

(Ms. Shrestha is currently working at TPO Nepal in the position of Sr. Clinical Supervisor. Her areas of expertise include motivating individuals for their growth and confidence, couple counselling, counselling for children and their parents for behavioral problems and providing therapy for anxiety, depression and alcohol problems.)